Communicaiton…

Communication is a tough one sometimes.  For some reason, expressing ourselves well can be the most difficult thing to do. 

Being able to articulate our feelings, our knowledge, or our thoughts is a skill we all could use some help with.  It comes easy to some people, but most people struggle with it.  It’s ok to struggle, it’s not ok to make excuses or just accept it.  We all must work towards being an effective communicator.  It will affect every part of our lives if we can master the skill.  Personally, we will feel more at ease because we will know we are “heard” when we speak.  Relationally, especially in marriage, there will be a lot less disagreements because we can make our desires known.  Professionally, we can become leaders and stand out in the crowd.

I would say the number one cause of aggravation, fights, hurt, and just negative feelings in any relationship is due to bad communication.  We often fail greatly at clearly explaining ourselves or even fully explaining our thoughts.  For some reason we often think that other people have the same thoughts as us or that they are on the same page without them even confirming that fact.

Listening is a huge part of communication as well.  I didn’t forget that one.  I have heard it said and can verify in my own life that there is a difference between listening and simply waiting for your turn to speak.  Let that one sink in.  A lot of times when we should be listening to someone, we are in our own minds planning what we will say next or simply chomping at the bit to start talking again.  Or is that just me?  The problem is when we do that, we shut off the other person’s ability to communicate with us.  It causes them to become frustrated and often they give up trying to talk to us. 

I can share with something I struggle with.  I tend to listen to someone speak so intently that I show no emotion or response from my body language.  I look disinterested, or bothered but it is just me listening intently.  It has caused lots of conflict in my home and in other relationships in life.  “Blank face” has been studied scientifically to instantly make people uncomfortable almost worse than simply rejecting someone’s idea or thoughts.  I am really trying to do better with it, but it truly is a struggle for me since I have a stoic personality generally. 

When we communicate with others, we should be doing so with the goal of making the other person feel heard, that they matter, and in most situations, better off at the end of the conversation. 

This week take a hard look at how you communicate with different people in your daily life.  Are you showing others that they matter to you?  Are you ignoring certain people?  Do you allow yourself to fully engage with people close to you?  If you identify any problem areas, take steps to rectify them, you will be glad you did.

Colossians 4:6 (NLT)

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.