Not Going At It Alone...

For a long time, I went through life alone. Sure, I have an amazing wife, kids, coworkers, friends, and family, but I didn’t really connect with any of them on an emotional level. I kept everyone at a slight distance. I went through every struggle alone, but surrounded by others. I think I did that because I was hurt by a few different people over the course of my life which kept me from being willing to put my complete trust in others. 

Me Trying to Show Up Rocky

This past year has taught me a lot of new things. One of them has been that there are some people out there that you can trust completely. The trick is to find them and be able to identify them. For instance, last year my wife and I met a couple at an event and immediately felt drawn to them. We talked with them throughout the weekend, and contrary to my usual actions, I kept in contact with the husband at least weekly over the past year. That has given me someone to lean on in times of need, but also be that person for him. Just knowing that someone has your back is comforting.  We had the pleasure to spend a couple days with them last week and it was fantastic to connect and just have fun together. 

It is unfortunate that I allowed myself to be a loner for so much of my life. As a teenager I never felt like I fit in, or had close friends. I moved around just enough as a child to not have long lasting friendships, but not enough to be good at making new friends. I was just an extremely tall, skinny, somewhat nerdy kid. I played basketball, but was only decent because of my height, I made good grades, but didn’t focus on school enough to be part of the smart kid group, I just floated around with nowhere to land.

I continued that into my adult life. No matter where I went to school, where I worked, or what church we attended, I never allowed myself to get roots and connect with others. The few times I did, I got burned so I avoided it at all costs. I see now that was a big mistake and has kept me from truly living life to the fullest.

The last few days have made that fact very apparent. Traveling to the northeast and seeing some of the sites of the origins of our country, and truly reflecting on what the people who founded our country endured is truly moving. They had to band together, help each other, and trust each other to ensure success. 

We still need to do that today. We need each other in order to be our best selves, and communities. It all starts with a simple decision to allow yourself to be vulnerable with others. You need to at least attempt to pick the right people, but you probably won’t get the right person every time. Allow yourself to roll with the punches life gives you.

The great philosopher Rocky Balboa once said, “It’s not how hard you hit. It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.” 

There is a lot of wisdom in that fictional character’s statement. It’s not about how much you can do yourself. Winning in life is only achieved by how you react to the effect of others in your life. Living a lonely, safe, and fearful life is never going to be the most fulfilling. Connecting with others, building them up, winning together, losing together, etc. That is what gives us a full life, but we can’t do that if we are alone.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” - Proverbs 27:17