Pushing Through The Holidays
I know we just had Thanksgiving, but sometimes the holidays aren’t a happy time of the year for some people. I personally struggle every year to put on a happy face this time of year.
I lost my father and grandmother in the same year when I was 14. That year completely changed how my family holidays looked. I used to want to go back to those fun times we had before that year, but I know it isn’t possible. Things change, we get older, and the world never stops.
I tried to act happy as an adult and father myself every year, but I know it was apparent I was faking it. My heart truly isn’t in it. Not only have I been miserable, but I stole some of the joy my family could have had by focusing on the past.
This year is hitting me even harder with the loss of my son last year. I am constantly reminded of him and of his absence. I know it’s not good for me or others around me, but it is a real hurt in my heart. I unfortunately, allow the hurt to control me sometimes.
My goal this year is to enjoy the holidays. I want to be cheerful and happy. I want to bring joy to others. I want my younger son to have the kind of Christmas I used to enjoy every year growing up. I want to boost the joy in my home instead of bringing it down as I usually do.
That is a hard task for me, a tall order, but I am committing myself to achieving it. Grief and loss just suck, but we have a choice in how we allow it to dictate our thoughts and actions. I am choosing to be happy in this season.
I’m sure it will be difficult. I am also sure I will fail miserably at times, but I won’t let those hard times dictate the future. I’ll get up after every fall and try harder than the time before. My family deserves it.
I wish I had more encouraging words for you today. All I can say is if you have a hard time this time of year as I do, choose to do better, and if you don’t have trouble, extend grace to those who do.
“Pour out your unfailing love on those who love you; give justice to those with honest hearts.”
-Psalms 36:10 NLT