The Hyphen…
Just a Hyphen…
I heard a cool thing this week. I was talking to someone about how we started the process to order my son’s headstone/grave marker last week. He told me how his pastor had done a sermon about them a few weeks ago. In that message, he said the two dates on the marker are not the important part, it’s the hyphen in the middle that is the important.
What an interesting perspective to have on life and death. Everyone focuses on when we are born. Babies are a blessing and bring joy to everyone around them. New life is fun, exciting, full of wonder and possibilities. I always think about what that child will become in the future. What can I teach them about this world to keep them from some of the hardships I have had to endure? How can I bring joy to their childhood?
On the other end of the spectrum is when we leave this world. That’s the one no one likes, and for good reason. We miss our loved ones, it creates a hole in our lives that cannot be filled, and there is nothing we can do about it. Depending on the situation we can look back at the person’s life and think they lived a full life, accomplished a lot, impacted the world, etc. But sometimes, that person leaves this world too early, they have not yet been able to fulfill their purpose, achieve their dreams, or even just grow up and live on their own.
I think this is where the hyphen comes in. The specific dates people come into the world and then leave this world are not the significant parts of our lives. The stuff in the middle is. How did that person make you feel, what silly thing they did, how did they help others, etc. All those things are what people will look back on and remember us by.
I forget the date my son passed sometimes; it was 11 months ago last week. What I think about the most is his smile, his wit, his athleticism, his potential, and how good of a man he was becoming. I remember the stories about how generous he was. How he always put others before himself. I heard stories from his classmates of how he helped them, or how he stood up for them.
This realization has made me step back and look at my life and see what my hyphen looks like. I can say that a lot of my time has been used selfishly. I have not actively tried to help others. I have not been the person that I would like to be remembered as. This past year has brought that to my attention, and I have been working on making changes. I write every week about the changes I am trying to make in my life. That in itself is a huge step for me to take since I am anti-social media and typically don’t talk to many people.
Next week I am going to start attending a men’s group challenge at our church. That is hard for me to do, but I am willing to make myself uncomfortable so that I can grow into the man I feel God made me to be.
This week I encourage you to think about what your hyphen looks like. I hope you are pleased with what you see, but if you aren’t, investigate how to make it better. You will surprise yourself at the things you are capable of if you have the right perspective.
Philippians 3 is a good read to go along with this message. The whole chapter is good, but this is my favorite passage.
12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
(Philippians 3:12-14)